♥VISUALWHITE- Fly With Me ♂™

Monday, July 23, 2007

It HURTS to love u the way she does

and then look at u and realise how much

u don't care...

i don't understand why, i just don't get it... i tok to one of he's previous classmate ytd and i got a fucking news which said that he had a gf 1 yr ago(when we were still together) he said he saw him hugging her and he tot that i was the gal... F... i noe i should have trust him aft all he is my boyfriend, wadever... but this is not the 1st time i heard that he got other gf.. how am i suppose to believe him? i got soo mad and called him in the middle of the night and demanded an explanation from him... he was like... soo pissed off with my attitude.. he felt that i was being ridiculars and not trusting him at all.. fancy waking him up in the middle of the night and talk abt this... he feels that im presurising him thus, wanting a break up.. PLZ, may i noe that, is the demanding for an explanation(where every girl will do if u really love ur guy) = giving him pressure? i seriously cant stand he's fucking attitude... its oways becoz of some problems and he cant face it, he didnt even have the courage to press it on... or perhaps, he had ald wanted to end this relationship earlier... then of coz, he insist that he had not been lying to me.. bcoz he really do love me so blah blah blah... wadever... no matter wad, i still find it hard to trust him... he wanted to kill himself to prove that he is not lying... i doubt wether if its true... DUH... kill himself? crazy... he told me, 1/4 of he's blood is ald dripping on the floor... i didnt even noe if i can believe him... he is oways behaving in this way... THEREFORE, IM TIRED, real TIRED of him... i guess its a form of escape... everyting that happens rite now, its a cycle , its repeating... infact, it have been repeated for alot of times..

God, please help me to seek for the truth...

{03:07}

Saturday, July 14, 2007

FRIDAY THE 13TH SIMPLY SUX LIKE HELL... "its the matter of do u believe it or not?" everyone says that... but its totally a coincident to me.. SIMPLY SOO BAD LUCK... early in the morning i got caught by Mdm Yati for my attire.. when i was sitin in the parade square quietly reading my book.. i didnt even stand up okay.. how could she possibly saw my attire aft all? i admit i didnt pin up my hair that day.. others were not pining up too... but y me? sigh... i got no choice but to follow her instruction.. i bought a pair of long socks and a pin from the sch book shop and report back to her again.. for attire checking..

back in class... i was having Art lessons then... both of my good frens( Mei Fang and Nat) were sitting on both my left and my right... they were mad at me... bcoz of sum arguements we had ytd and the day before ytd.. nothing serious actually just sum stupid little stuffs.. sigh..

aft recess... i was sitting in the hall waiting to be release back to class.. and i was being called up again... by Mdm Yati... and she said " ur hair is okay... but wad abt ur shirt? and ur socks? where is ur longer socks?( which i brought it in the morning)" i have to rush back to class again.. wear it and show it to her.. gosh... the worst ting ever happen to me is " i want u to meet me every morning at the parade square with a neat and proper attire, starting from monday onwards" I HATE THIS OKAY... when i replied her that" huh?! i dont want to meet u....." " look at ur attitude, look at the way u speak to me"... blah blah... forget it lar... sigh... im just soo unlucky.. sucky life..

aft school... i rush to Mei Fang's class to make an apology to her.. well... i have made this decision to apologize to Mei Fang is bcoz Hui Mei have successfully persuaded me to do it...( i wanna say thank you) and she makes me realise that, Mei Fang was such a good fren nevertheless a truth fren of coz.. so i must really treasure her... and that was not the end of the unlucky day yet...

we went to watch Harry Potter aft that... YEAH! IT WAS EXCITING... gosh.. it makes me feel more wanting to study in the Hogwarts than i ever do!!!! cool ; i want to be a witch keke! and i began to love harry potter more as well.. i guess im crazy abt Harry. my god! my dear sure get very very jealous de... hahaxx... anyway, Mei Fang wanted to have dinner aft the movie... but Jie Ying and i chose to have just a tea break instead.. so she gt real angry... i swear her eyes were red... like she was almost goin to cry soon.. sigh... she feels that we were breaking promise i guess... Jie Ying and Mei Fang quarrel... For now, they were not toking to each other... sigh... as for me, im stuck in between them... passing msg for them and comforting both... i guess i do have fault too..

{09:44}

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hello... its a weird way to start a post.. hahaxx.. ok.. BACK TO MY LIFE, yeah... ytd was he's birthday... it was a sad ting that we didnt actually count down together.. argh! coz i forgot about the time... and he didnt remind me abt it.. hahaxx.. so we chat till my phone alarm ring( which i set it, long ago to remind me of hes birthday) when i realise that it was 12 am.. LOL! we miss the countdown! sob sob.. anyway, it was the worst birthday that i ever celebrated with anyone.. HE WAS SOOO restless.. sleepy.. i don't know... he sounds like he is going to fall asleep anytime.. like no mood at all.. i try ways and means to cheer him up, u noe like making him feel happy, aftall that was HES BIRTHDAY u noe... but he still seems like errr..... hopeless... LOL! haix... i felt disappointed.. wadever lar.. as long as he feels happy and i will be happy too.. ( i wonder if thats the truth) haix.. sumtimes i feel that being with him doesnt makes me feel happy at all.. IM NOT FORTUNATE... lols.. i guess, u must be tinkin that since i gt sooo much complains and blah wadever... then y must i still continue rite... its such a torture.. i will tell u wad, I GOT NO IDEA TOO...I had a STRESSFUL LIFE in school... lots and lots of homework.. esp MATHS( U NOE I HATE THAT, its such a torture for me to do them) 2-3 stacks of papers there for me to complete it.. sigh... when will this stressful life end?

I WANNA FLY AWAY FROM HERE...

{07:48}

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I HATE MY PARENTS,
they sucks..
sucks like hell...

i miss him hell lots
and i got scolded
for tokin to him on phone
so wad its late uh?
I LIKE IT
SOOO WHAT?!
dun like slap me lar...
ma de.. FUCK YOU LAR

I HATE YOU
HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!

{09:55}

Monday, July 02, 2007

You've got to give me everything
Nothing less
cause,
U NOE I GIVE U ALL OF ME

All i need is just your time and love
is that very difficult?

IM VEXED!!!!!

hold me tight...
Im exhausted.
im looking for a place to fall asleep in..
In sumone's arms

A guy,
who doesnt have time for me
whom i need,was not there for me
and yet, i am right here,
yearning for him every single day.

why do i still love him?
am i plain stupid?

TELL ME, AM I PATHETIC?

{10:09}

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Alright, im back at last... aft not blogging for soo many days.. because of.. ya.. sum problems i had a few weeks ago i guess... notice that i have change my skin too, ya.. i wanted to forget all the unhappniess in the past.. looking at the previous skin makes me feel unhappy abt it and it will oso remind me of... so ya... i changed the skin.. was it beautiful? hahaxx... lols... dun bother abt me.. i wonder... does he noes that he is super super... i donnoe how to describe... annoying? i didnt want to say this behind hes back.. coz aft all im he's gf.. and i shouldent do that behind him... but hes attitude really turns me off.. ytd on msn, he took really long time to reply each msg.. its not the 1st time aft all.. this has been goin on for lots of time.. so.. i begin to suspect that, he purposely reply me late... (onli for ytd) then i asked him why.. and he told me that it was connection error... it doesnt seems like it is.. sumtimes he reply me real slow... sumtimes when i type out sumting like " wad u doing" then he will like reply me immdiately... its like soo not possible.. i couldent believe him... so we quarrel again... but not too serious.. however, the weird thing is... during our quarrel conversation, he seems to reply very very fast.. even before i finished typing.. how in the hell do u expect me to believe this.. becoz we are quarreling therefore the connection noes that we were quarreling so it helps him by making a fast reply to me? therefore he, can receive all the complains i make to him and he can make a quick reply of scolding me back? SIMPLY RIDICULARS ALRITE! If there is really a connection error then he should be receiving all my complains late.. and there will be a time delay of replying me.. y is that so? y can he receive soo much faster than before and started replying me? u may tink that im ridiculars.. i oso feel that i am.. bcoz of hes late reply and i make up a big fuss abt it.. so wad? its just a late reply... but the truth is i didnt noe why too... perhaps, he is often late online abt 9+ to 10pm and offline dam early abt 10pm+ .. (got force by hes dad) i didnt really get a chance to have a good tok to him.. therefore, i really treasure every minute with him... but he is oways late reply... sorta like dragging the time.. by the end of the day.. wad we get to speak? for onli a few sentences.. DAM.. does he even noe that? i get very impatient on him.. he's every action, sumtimes.. makes me feel angry... i donno if im suffering from too much stress or stuff... anyway, aft that.. i try to hint sumting to him... sumting that i wanted him to said.. its was dam obvious i swear... ok but he nv did .. i didnt noe wether he is plain stupid or he was pretending.. i actually told him wad i wanted him to say.. before he actually did it.. its was like... gosh.. u will nv noe wad i want.. disappointing.. i didnt want to complain to him anymore.. he was kinda like hopeless ald.. moreover, he cant take it... if not he will be saying that im ~~PRESSURIZING~~ him.. fine ok... just forget it.. i begin to feel that i couldent face him anymore.. i was wondering wad i should say to him when he is online... should i confess to him wad i was tinking? or should i pretend that nth has happen and just forget it? i online in the aftnoon to check if hes online.. bcoz he promise me that he will be free today and he will rite me 5 tesi( aft owning me for thousand of tesi) finally return.. by installment.. ok.. i was kinda like waiting for him.. until abt 9+ he called me.. we chat... he toks abt jokes that he gt from hes fren.. on phone.. some are quite funny.. i rmb 1 that he ask me to say "oni" pronouce... blah blah.. but i refuse to do it.. i dont wanna get trick u see.. but he said is nth... blah blah.. in the end... i still refuse to do it... so he said like.. bu hao wan de.. then like i spoilt hes mood like tt.. forget it then.. i just keep quiet.. and then he said "i dun online today ok.. im very tired.." i gt really mad with him.. DAMMIT ok.. i waited him for the whole day.. 1 word tired and he say he didnt want to online.. do u noe that.. im oso very very tired? yet i online just for him.. i waited for him no matter how tired i am... FUCK ok... then he asked me.. y? u unhappy? tell me y? dun angry lar.. okok.. i online ok? dun angry... ASS... i really gt soo... wtf... then we put down the phone.. he is online now... IM so fucking crazy that i apologize to him just now.. i told him that im not feeling well.. thats y i react this way... wad is wrong with me?! sigh... anyway he didnt reply me at all... i can confirm that he did that purposely.. NOT CONNECTION ERROR or wadever error he gt.. DUH...

I FEEL TOTALLY STRESS UP..
- will one day really be the end of us?

{07:10}

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♥Blabberings

♥MISS EVIL / MISS NICE

The Gentle Killer
& Beware, I DON'T have a heart.

03121991 [ Sagittarius ]
SWEET 16

Quote ' Fly With Me♂™ '

3veryone LOVED him. I thought I would too. Forever. But I couldn't have been more wrong. What started out as an innocent puppy-dog love in my adolescent years turned into two years of unshakable, abuse-laden torture.

♥Desires

TRAVELLING around the whole world
Going for a car racing[ u know thoes illegal ones like no one cares]
Having GOOD grades for all of my subjects (A1 is what i desire)
Living in a City full of Lights.
T0 HAVE A CAR ACCIDENT [ i want a brainwash ]
lastly, i wish for WORLD PEACE.

♥ Sweet 3scapes

Tiffany

Mummy

Sharine

Wen Xin

Gene

Apple Jie Jie

Long Xian

Sing Ning

Brant

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