♥VISUALWHITE- Fly With Me ♂™

Monday, October 29, 2007

Do any one of you have an ambition? I have asked alot of my friends and they often gave me these replies " i don't know what i wanna be when i grow up" or " i haven think about it, prehaps i will take one step at a time" Well, i was like..... HAHA! speechless. One of my ambition is to be a spy/killer, like thoes spies/killers which i watch in the movies; they are sooo cool and mysterious. Well, Actually they have a very deep personalities which not everyone could understands it. i felt that they are really special in their own ways. i wanna be like them too, when im grown up. I love the mysterious feelings of it. Of cause, this occupation involves killing. Have you ever wonder why killer exist? some killers kills because of lust, it fills the emptiness in them. Killing satisfy them in everyways. Others kills for justice, while some kills because of their personal problems and stuffs. To others perhaps, they are been forced to do so or perhaps, its just part their jobs, they can't help it.

Murdering can comes in an artform. You must be wondering why i said so. Well, chilled alright. I am seriously not someone who is prevert or has mentally disorder its just that i felt that its an artform. Look at this ; its from JJ lin's [ 杀手]

绝对的完美一双手

不流汗也不发抖

交叉在微笑的背后

暗藏危险的轮廓

在你最放松的时候

绝不带着任何感情

就下手从来不回头

开始的感觉

不会痛不会痛

放大的瞳孔就像作梦

幸福的错觉

很温暖很包容

也许还期待

这是致命的冲动

你不懂我不懂

究竟杀手为什么存在

因为爱还是未知的未来

心情放松摇摆

在你三百米之外

数着心跳等待

所有念头全抛开

锁进来进来这美丽的悲哀

这是爱就是爱

全世界都不明白

心情放松摇摆

在你三百米之外

感觉饥饿难耐

需要你填满空白

Itsn't it desribe it like an artfrom?

where all the emotions just swirling in u

As u pictures all the above lyrics.

The words brings something more than just meaning in it

Sort of like an artistic version of killing

Alright, shouldent scare anyone out there.

Im not going to be a killer in the future but a doctor :)

I have made up my mind.

Truly, if there is evil in this world, it lies within the heart of mankind. - Edward D. Morrison

{09:06}

Friday, October 26, 2007

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲,纪念我死去的爱情;跟夜风一样的声音,心碎的很好听.

seeing the above phrase, dont u find it familiar? Yes, its from Jay Chou [ 夜曲 ]. i enjoy listening to this song whenever im taking a ride on someone's car in the night. u will find me looking out at the scenary from the window of the car. It feels really relaxing and i will start to let my mind wander off. I guess its a carefree feeling, where i see the stars above and reminds me of my love one. However, its has been quite awhile since i listened to this song. When i started to play yue qu again last night; i dont deny, the carefree feeling is still there. i wish to look at the stars once again. At the same time, feeling alittle upset, i guess i have really lost him. Some words in this sentence above really sounds like a "highlight" to me" 纪念我死去的爱情" and" 心碎的很好听" Yeah its true, xin cui de sheng ying zhen de hen hao ting ; 0ur love has dead long ago. it really makes me feel that its pointless holding on together. You can feel, how broken i am & it's not that it matters anymore. Alex, my dear friend: do u still remember what u have promise me? You said, you will take me out for a ride on ur motorcycle at night and we will ride really fast on the road. you said, there will be stars in the dark sky and we will ride all the way to the beach. I can feel the rush of freedom in the air and the strong wind blowing against us as we ride. i guess this is what i really need right now, to break away from all my sorrows.

ALEX, won't u take me for a ride?

{07:42}

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

See this picture above? [ im the girl besides the birthday boy]
' its 1 of the most pathetic smiles i have' :)

Although, its over i still wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY QI MING! may all your dreams and wishes comes true. XD Well, i shall write a tesi to you later. we had a celebration at he's dad's restaurant on Mon - i never knew that; that restaurant belongs to he's dad neither do the workers around there knew that Qi ming is the employer's son. i still doubt if he means it, i got soo shocked when i heard him said that.. Anyway, i had this feeling that Qi Ming was not really feeling happy at all. Perhaps its due to the girl he had a crush on, had not appear on that day's celebration. Plus, he had a fever and wasnt feeling really well then. Poor Him... sigh... i have been rotting at home ever since after that celebration. ITS SOOO DAMN BORING! i wonder why my mom likes to "keep" me at home.. Im not doing anything at all. Seriously, im not contributing to the house, im not helping out on any of the chores. I dont know why she likes to "lock" me up in the house. I really got nothing to do at all, wouldent it have been much better if i hang out with my friends? at least i get to walk around you know.. sigh.. she would just put up a face, whenever im going out. I know what she meant. " going out to waste money again and the bus fare++++ " mothers are always behaving in this manner :( what else can we said abt it? The good thing is, tml im going for a job interview. [Therefore, i wont rot at home] I hope i will succeed, so good luck to me alrite? wink*

Lastly, to my' boyfriend'; all CLHS [ penang] students/

Singapore candidates taking o's/

whoever's taking exam papers tml

JIA YOU and GOOD LUCK FOR TML'S PAPER

ALL THE BEST ALRIGHT! :)

To candidates hu are taking o'lvl's papers,

NOTE: DO NOT BE NERVOUS

{12:03}

Saturday, October 20, 2007

I believe that god really exist which i dont use to, in the past. Yesterday, i seeked help from the god and eventually everything becomes much more clearer to me now, after i called him and we chat for awhile. Just like wad Zi Fang jie jie said that god dont always appear to u like fairytales u noe, where there's a white light shimmered and"ting!" god appear! perhaps in real life, god will use something which is a, more realistic way to help u solve ur problems. Something will happen in the point of time to make u realise when/where u should turn ur direction to.. i guess, deep in my heart i really know what i should do or perhaps its an advice/ans from god. Letting go of what i cant change its indeed a better choice. i noe that im dragging all this while, hes tired and im tired too. I tried questioning my heart yesterday and i realise [ yuan lai wo hai shi hao xi huan ta ] i don't know if i can really let go without any regrets. i believe everyone would carry some unwillingness and regrets in leaving a relationship ; afterall, the memories do really counts. Still deciding in process : u can see me really don't want it to end :(

Finally wanna THANK all my friends who guide me, gave me support, care and lots.. through this suffering days

- Tiffany

- Alex

- Hui Min

- Tina

- Lui Ying

- Sing Ning

- Mei Fang

- Jie Ying

- Wan Yi

- Jia Hao

- Zac

- Jun Hong

[ i can said that i'm feeling much better now]

THANKS for being there friends :)

LOVES and NEVER be forgotten

Lastly, Thanks Hui Min for the above picture :)

{11:54}

Friday, October 19, 2007

Dear dairy, why do i feel so terrible? its such a torture to me where everday i have to face these feelings of mine over and over again. Sometimes i really thought that im going mad soon, its like 1 min im alright and 1 min i am not. i seriously couldent stand this any longer, im really afraid that i would hurt myself 1 day... i wish to see a physio, i hope it helps me. I AM SERIOUSLY VERY DEPRESS RIGHT NOW. i have troubles in falling a sleep almost everyday i can't sleep at all. Besides that, after falling asleep i would have nightmares [ they are all violent dreams ] and i dont feel like eatting dinner too. God, will u help me? will u protect me? will u take my hand and walk this painful journey with me? TELL ME, THAT IM NOT ALONE ; why am i dropping tears right now? when i type this? i dont want to cry at all bcoz i know crying couldent solve anyting and tears just flows when i mention god.. i dont want people to see me as im weak neither do i want myself to feel weak too.. god, do u hear me? i need u badly rite now. will u guide me? i dont wish to tell my problems to anyone elses bcoz i noe all they can do is " dont tink too much" wad can they do afterall? i hate feeling sad and it really feels terrible god, can u feel it? wad should i do now? what excatly should i do now? i want to break up but i cant , i want a revenge but i dont tink i can do so, i want to forgive and i couldent too! IM STUCK! i dont wish to put up with he's attitude anymore... wadever it is, i just feel so helpless i cant do anyting at all.

i feel like dying

when i noe i cant stand myself anymore
- i would

{09:04}

Friday, October 12, 2007

Hey there.. i have been feeling really sad lately.. aww.. sigh, someting really terrible had happened to me 1 week ago... i swear it will always remain in my heart forever, theres a deep wound rite there. well, nothing could really erase those bad memories.. that incident would always haunt me wherever i am, whenever i am.. all thx to that Dickson Chao Tat Hwa.. that ugly basturd. well, im miss nice okay.. i didnt really wanna say all thoes nasty things, but he is really fucking sux to core alrite. he plays timer, he have sex with others behind me and cheated others feelings too.. i wonder how inhuman can he be.. FUCK! now i have been tinking abt it, i really felt disgrace being with him.. omg! how fucking disgusting can my boyfriend be? i must have been the world's GREATEST fool to believe in him.. and of coz i HATE him to core alrite.. u can never imagine how hurt i am rite now... it feels as if my whole body fills with wound and each wound is bleeding non-stop.. but i can say, im feeling numb rite now.. IM MISS EVIL rite now. IT'S JUST HURT S00 MUCH.

I NEED A NEW LIFE

{09:06}

Monday, October 08, 2007

{06:07}

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♥Blabberings

♥MISS EVIL / MISS NICE

The Gentle Killer
& Beware, I DON'T have a heart.

03121991 [ Sagittarius ]
SWEET 16

Quote ' Fly With Me♂™ '

3veryone LOVED him. I thought I would too. Forever. But I couldn't have been more wrong. What started out as an innocent puppy-dog love in my adolescent years turned into two years of unshakable, abuse-laden torture.

♥Desires

TRAVELLING around the whole world
Going for a car racing[ u know thoes illegal ones like no one cares]
Having GOOD grades for all of my subjects (A1 is what i desire)
Living in a City full of Lights.
T0 HAVE A CAR ACCIDENT [ i want a brainwash ]
lastly, i wish for WORLD PEACE.

♥ Sweet 3scapes

Tiffany

Mummy

Sharine

Wen Xin

Gene

Apple Jie Jie

Long Xian

Sing Ning

Brant

0ng Jun Jie

Xing Yi